Women men love to hate

Men love women, while women continue finding endless reason to loathe a man. Reasons like a man’s high sex drive, abusive lingo, his dominating behaviour or chauvinist traits are often looked down upon by the fairer sex.

 

But what if men also start putting women in certain stereotypes and chose their mate based on these guidelines. Sounds interesting! Be it a woman's jealous behaviour, her over-the-top attitude or her gregariousness– these traits can also irk a male partner. It's a fact that men consider these attributes while choosing a potential mate.

Here are the most typical female typecasts as defined by men.

Jealous / over possessive all the time : If you thought that the best way to hold on to your man is to be over possessive and go green with envy every time he hangs around with other girls, it’s time for a reality check! Boys like to be a one-woman man, but they won’t really appreciate your jealous behaviour if it's a recurrent behavioural trait.

Here’s why : Dr. Shivani Gupte, a clinical psychologist reasons, “Jealously comes when you are over possessive about a person and in case of men, they need their space in a relationship. But if you behave like a watchdog or keep a tab on every girl around them, it is irking. Not only will such behaviour act as a turn off, but it will also show how insecure you are about your guy.”

Attitude problems : It's good to carry a distinct attitude, but if you inadvertently show too much of it in front of your man, things may turn sour. Girls often like to be known for their pompous touch-me-not attitude, but showing it all the time can make you look like an arrogant and egotistical lady, and men don’t really find that alluring.

Here’s why : Dr. Karunesh Sharma, a marriage counsellor says, “A man can stand all kinds of tantrums you throw, but when it comes to attitude problems, it’s his self-respect and ego that come to the fore, so do not expect any compromises here. Even if you’re too supercilious, it’s advised to keep aside your attitude and respect the man you’re with.”

Material Gal : ‘She wants your money’ – you’d have heard the phrase many a times and might have believed it too that most girls get into a relationship depending upon their guy’s bank balance. But men seem to have become smarter nowadays. Most guys don't believe in taking their girl out for a luxurious date, buying her expensive clothes and opulent gifts. The moment a guy realises that his girl is more interested in his money and not him; it will put him off.

Here’s why : Dr. Amita Mishra, a relationship expert opines, “Men are perceived to be the providers, but this develops at a later stage when he's married and has a family to look after. But if you think that they will fulfill all your monetary demands, paying your shopping and restaurant bills, you are mistaken. Being overtly materialistic, often dilutes the actual meaning of being in a relationships. So men are less likely to get attracted to a girl who gives too much priority to money.”

Drama queen : If you create too much drama whenever you seek attention from your man, you are in for a lot of trouble. Men are not keen to be seen with a crybaby or someone who creates a big fuss out of every small issue.

Here’s why : Dr. Shivani adds, “Behaving a tad too loud in a relationship often points out to the fact that you're seeking attention and wanting to be the topic of discussion. Reacting to situations in a dramatic way can't get the purpose solved every time because you need to portray yourself as a strong and independent woman and not an emotional dependent with teary tales.”

Too progressive : Agreed that it’s a modern world and no girl wants to be seen in an old fashioned salwar kameez or sari. But does your guy love your modernistic approach? Well, maybe not! At least when it comes to meeting his family, guys expect to have a homely woman who blends modern and traditional values.

Here’s why : Dr. Sharma asserts, “Being overtly modern can backfire sometimes, as it’s often believed that when it comes to choosing a mate, men often look up to their moms, seeking similar attributes in their wives. Though it’s not bad to be modern, but it’s equally important to maintain your moral values and be in sync with the Indian culture, which men surely appreciate.”

From the Times of India, 18th Feb'10