I did not die . . .

Do not stand by and weep . . .
I'm not there . . .
I do not sleep . . .
I am the thousand winds that blow . . .
I am the diamond that glints on the snow . . .
I am the sun on the ripened grain . . .
I am the gentle autumn rain . . . of quiet birds in circled flight . . .
I am the soft stars that shine at night . . .
Do not stand by & cry . . .
I am not there . . . 
I did not die . . . . . .

from obituary of Namrata Chadha, pg. 8, The Times of India, Saturday, June 14, 2010.

Sure shot ways to burn fat, fast !

It takes great determination to lose weight. The fat has just been adding up for months or years, as the case may be. However, don’t kill yourself with a mean crash diet to get into a bikini, simply follow our expert-backed tips to fall into shape. 

‘How to get started’ is a major cause of concern. Whether it is sweating it out at the gym or going for long jogs, it is a tough call for most fitness novices. At such a juncture it is imperative to understand your body and its fitness requirement. And accordingly zero in on a work-out routine. We take a look at five fast fat burning moves... 

Cardio exercises 

Cardios are the best form of exercise for beginners. There is no refuting the fact that to blast calories you need to break a sweat. A lean body can never be yours without sweating out the excess flab. And cardio exercises help you achieve just that; they boost your stamina, make you energetic and flexible to take up an even rigorous fitness regime. Running on the treadmill, cross-trainer, cycling, swimming and skipping are the most popular forms of cardio. While a treadmill exercises the whole body, cross-trainers are for the hips and thighs. You can even go for the cycling option at a gym; there are two kinds of cycles, one for thighs and the other for thighs and stomach. 

Diet 

Once you have set up a routine, gradually cut down on fish, red meat, fries, butter, cheese and junk food of every kind. Take a good dose of water depending on your body requirement. Coconut water and fresh fruit juices too can be taken post meals. 

Spinning 

One might complain of lack of variety in a spinning class, as the exercise routine can get a tad monotonous. However, spinning is a wonderful way to burn calories and keeps your muscles toned. Agreed, cycling in the open is a far viable option as it lets you enjoy the local sights and take in fresh air, but rainy season and foggy winters can put a dampener on your fitness schedule. Request your trainer to come up with varied routines to keep up the interest. At a spinning studio, with the help of background music and varied lighting, a soothing and happy atmosphere is recreated. Not to mention, spinning works best when alternated with cardio exercises. It helps lose fat and build muscles. You can do 30-45 minutes of non-stop spinning once in eight days, if you are combining it with cardio. 

Diet 

Food intake should be half of your normal diet. You can consume small portions of all kinds of food you like, but say no to fries, butter and cheese. 

Trapeze workout 

The form of workout is named after the lesser-known trapeze muscle which all of us have, but isn’t very prominent. Trapeze muscles are connected at either ends to the collar bone and hence move parts of the skeleton. Little wonder, fitness addicts and body builders sport such a neat shoulder and neck line. To chisel out your trapeze muscles, the ‘Dumbbell shrugs’ and ‘Barbell shrugs’ are most effective. The former flexes your side form, while the latter is for the front form. It is to be noted that trapeze exercises are not for beginners, as it requires an already lean body. A few months of rigorous cardio and spinning can have you ready for trapeze. Outside of building swoon-worthy muscles, it helps keep sinus and cervical disorders at bay. A healthy trapeze routine requires each body part be exercised twice a week. 

Diet 

A wholesome diet, but avoid greasy and junk food at any cost. Drink plenty of water, fresh fruit juices and coconut water. 

Aerobics and resistance training 

Such an exercise routine is best practiced at a fitness club under the guidance of expert trainers who understand your fitness level better. Resistance and flexibility exercises help increase stamina, and if rigorously followed, bring you in shape. Resistance is a set of weight lifting exercises, while flexibility is for the lower body. With music in the backdrop, aerobic exercises are a fun way to burn extra fat and get fitter. It facilitates a great deal of interaction with your fellow practitioners and one could also pick up some interesting routines together. To achieve best results, do resistance workout at least thrice a week. Warm up with a set of cardio exercises such as jumping and skipping to build stamina. You burn more calories by alternating aerobics with resistance and flexibility exercises. 

Diet 

Avoid food with high carbohydrate content such as potato, banana etc. If you like eating rice, take a small portion in the afternoon. Simply keep away from all kinds of fried stuff. 

Pilates 

Pilates is also a kind of aerobic exercise which entails a whole set of routines on the floor - on a mat. Group classes are conducted at a fitness club, where the trainer shows new routines on a regular basis, depending on the ability of the students. After a basic two-day training, the body status of the student is decided and a goal is fixed for the week. Pilates exercises the whole body and burns calories. There are as many as one hundred routines for the abs only. While you are free to buy tapes and practice Pilates in your living room, the knowledge of a live trainer and his ability to access your body strength cannot be negated either. Ideally, about four kilograms a month is the healthiest way to shed weight. 

Diet 

A wholesome diet, but avoid greasy and junk food at any cost. Drink plenty of water, juices and coconut water. Not to mention, carbohydrate-rich food should be taken only occasionally. 

Did you know, to lose a kilo you need to burn 7700 calories! Time you slipped into your track pants and broke some sweat. 

(With valuable inputs from Ivan Sabana, fitness expert, The Resort, Mumbai, and Tarun Sahu, asst. fitness manager, Celebrity Fitness Club, Gurgaon)

Premonitions

Everything's planned . . god has everything planned in our life . . for which he sometimes sends us signals . . signals or so called premonitions which in advance tell us what to expect from life . . one such premonition i had this morning which unfortunately turned out to be true . . and has given my professional life an unwanted turn . . not being sure what to expect next i have decided to go along with my thoughts & live life with my set of rules . . there's nothing that can stop you from doing what you want unless you bow to to the negativities . . .

it might sound not logical to some people but then it's my life and i ought to live the way i want to . . yes there are rules at places but then there has to be a ideally logical limit to them . . .

:- tarun

क्रिकेट के भगवान सचिन

सचिन तेंदुलकर ने वनडे क्रिकेट में इतिहास रचने के बाद अपने दोहरे शतक को भारतीय लोगों को समर्पित किया है. तेंदुलकर ने मैच के बाद भारतीय क्रिकेट प्रेमियों का आभार व्यक्त किया. उन्होंने कहा,''मैं नहीं जानता कि इस उपलब्धि पर कैसे प्रतिक्रिया करूं. मैं इस दोहरे शतक को भारतीय जनता को समर्पित करता हूँ जो पिछले 20 साल से मेरे उतार-चढ़ावों में हमेशा मेरा साथ देते रहे हैं. मैं उनके सहयोग को कभी नहीं भुला सकता.'' मैच के बाद उन्होंने कहा कि जब वो 175 रन के पार पहुंच गए थे तब उन्हें लगा कि 200 रन के जादुई आंकड़े को छुआ जा सकता है. उन्होंने कहा,''जब मैं 175 रन के पार पहुंच गया तब मुझे लगा कि मैं दोहरे शतक तक पहुंच सकता हूँ. लेकिन मैं इसी के बारे में नहीं सोच रहा था. जब मैं इसके बेहद क़रीब पहुँच गया तभी इस बारे में मैंने सोचना शुरू किया.''

ऐतिहासिक पारी


उल्लेखनीय है कि सचिन तेंदुलकर ने बुधवार को दक्षिण अफ्रीका के ख़िलाफ़ ग्वालियर में नाबाद 200 रन बनाए थे. मैं नहीं जानता कि इस उपलब्धि पर कैसे प्रतिक्रिया करूं. मैं इस दोहरे शतक को भारतीय जनता को समर्पित करता हूँ जो पिछले 20 साल से मेरे उतार-चढ़ावों में हमेशा मेरा साथ देते रहे हैं. सचिन तेंदुलकर वो वनडे में दोहरा शतक बनाने वाले दुनिया के पहले बल्लेबाज़ बन गए हैं. बाद में पत्रकारों से बातचीत में सचिन तेंदुलकर ने कहा कि रिकॉर्ड तो टूटने के लिए ही बनते हैं. सचिन ने कहा कि वो अपनी क्रिकेट का पूरा आनंद उठा रहे हैं और उन्हें खुशी है कि उनकी पारी से टीम ने बड़ी जीत दर्ज की.


सचिन ने कप्तान महेंद्र सिंह धोनी, दिनेश कार्तिक और यूसुफ पठान की भी तारीफ़ की जिन्होंने उनका साथ दिया.


बी बी सी के सौजन्य से

10 Habits of happy couples

What does it take to be happy in a relationship? If you’re working to improve your marriage, here are a few habits of happy couples.

1. Go to bed at the same time

Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn’t wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps.


2. Cultivate common interests

After the passion settles down, it’s common to realise that you have few interests in common. But don’t minimise the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.


3. Walk hand in hand or side by side

Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it’s more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.


4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode

If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.


5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong

If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.


6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work

Our skin has a memory of “good touch” (loved), “bad touch” (abused) and “no touch” (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.


7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning

This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.


8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel

This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.


9. Do a “weather” check during the day

Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.


10. Be proud to be seen with your partner

Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact - hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.

Happy couples have different habits than unhappy couples. A habit is a discrete behaviour that you do automatically and that takes little effort to maintain. It takes 21 days of daily repetition of a new a behaviour to become a habit. So select one of the behaviours in the list above to do for 21 days and voila, it will become a habit...and make you happier as a couple. And if you fall off the wagon, don’t despair, just apologize to your partner, ask their forgiveness and recommit yourself to getting back in the habit.


If there was one key to happiness in love and life, and possibly even success, it would be to go into each conversation you have with this commandment to yourself front and foremost in your mind, "Just Listen."



from the indiatimes network

Women men love to hate

Men love women, while women continue finding endless reason to loathe a man. Reasons like a man’s high sex drive, abusive lingo, his dominating behaviour or chauvinist traits are often looked down upon by the fairer sex.

 

But what if men also start putting women in certain stereotypes and chose their mate based on these guidelines. Sounds interesting! Be it a woman's jealous behaviour, her over-the-top attitude or her gregariousness– these traits can also irk a male partner. It's a fact that men consider these attributes while choosing a potential mate.

Here are the most typical female typecasts as defined by men.

Jealous / over possessive all the time : If you thought that the best way to hold on to your man is to be over possessive and go green with envy every time he hangs around with other girls, it’s time for a reality check! Boys like to be a one-woman man, but they won’t really appreciate your jealous behaviour if it's a recurrent behavioural trait.

Here’s why : Dr. Shivani Gupte, a clinical psychologist reasons, “Jealously comes when you are over possessive about a person and in case of men, they need their space in a relationship. But if you behave like a watchdog or keep a tab on every girl around them, it is irking. Not only will such behaviour act as a turn off, but it will also show how insecure you are about your guy.”

Attitude problems : It's good to carry a distinct attitude, but if you inadvertently show too much of it in front of your man, things may turn sour. Girls often like to be known for their pompous touch-me-not attitude, but showing it all the time can make you look like an arrogant and egotistical lady, and men don’t really find that alluring.

Here’s why : Dr. Karunesh Sharma, a marriage counsellor says, “A man can stand all kinds of tantrums you throw, but when it comes to attitude problems, it’s his self-respect and ego that come to the fore, so do not expect any compromises here. Even if you’re too supercilious, it’s advised to keep aside your attitude and respect the man you’re with.”

Material Gal : ‘She wants your money’ – you’d have heard the phrase many a times and might have believed it too that most girls get into a relationship depending upon their guy’s bank balance. But men seem to have become smarter nowadays. Most guys don't believe in taking their girl out for a luxurious date, buying her expensive clothes and opulent gifts. The moment a guy realises that his girl is more interested in his money and not him; it will put him off.

Here’s why : Dr. Amita Mishra, a relationship expert opines, “Men are perceived to be the providers, but this develops at a later stage when he's married and has a family to look after. But if you think that they will fulfill all your monetary demands, paying your shopping and restaurant bills, you are mistaken. Being overtly materialistic, often dilutes the actual meaning of being in a relationships. So men are less likely to get attracted to a girl who gives too much priority to money.”

Drama queen : If you create too much drama whenever you seek attention from your man, you are in for a lot of trouble. Men are not keen to be seen with a crybaby or someone who creates a big fuss out of every small issue.

Here’s why : Dr. Shivani adds, “Behaving a tad too loud in a relationship often points out to the fact that you're seeking attention and wanting to be the topic of discussion. Reacting to situations in a dramatic way can't get the purpose solved every time because you need to portray yourself as a strong and independent woman and not an emotional dependent with teary tales.”

Too progressive : Agreed that it’s a modern world and no girl wants to be seen in an old fashioned salwar kameez or sari. But does your guy love your modernistic approach? Well, maybe not! At least when it comes to meeting his family, guys expect to have a homely woman who blends modern and traditional values.

Here’s why : Dr. Sharma asserts, “Being overtly modern can backfire sometimes, as it’s often believed that when it comes to choosing a mate, men often look up to their moms, seeking similar attributes in their wives. Though it’s not bad to be modern, but it’s equally important to maintain your moral values and be in sync with the Indian culture, which men surely appreciate.”

From the Times of India, 18th Feb'10

प्यार की गंगा बहे देश में एका रहे !!