Dealing with backstabbers

Backstabbing at workplace certainly devastates individuals, especially when a person doesn’t know ho to deal with it. Now, career guru Kepcher has offered some advice on how to identify and cope with backstabbers at workplace.

Credit stealer
Seemingly helpful team player who will enthusiastically support your suggestions and work to make the project a big success – particularly because she intends to take credit.

This will include magnifying her own role, using personal pronouns such as “I” and “me” as substitutes for “we” whenever possible.

The chameleon
He, too, will appear to be a helpful team player, offering encouragement and support in private.

However, the chameleon will launch into his command performance whenever bosses are present and criticize ideas he supported some time back, including subtly accusing his peers of failing to notice the problems.

His every move is an effort to make himself look good — by making others look bad.

Backstabber-In-Chief
Occasionally, the Backstabber will also be the boss. Sigourney Weaver nailed this role in the movie "Working Girl.”

The most encouraging boss imaginable will steal the assistant’s potentially career-making idea.

How to handle all kinds of backstabbers at your office, by Kepcher, reports the New York Daily News :

- Stay calm. Do not let them make you emotional and defensive.
- Don’t wander through the jungle alone. Beware of private conversations that can be misquoted later.
-Use mail and group meetings to document your contributions.
- Be polite, but persistent. Learn to say no.
- Use direct phrases such as, “I’m perplexed you have so many negative comments about our idea since you were so supportive when we spoke privately yesterday. Is there a reason you didn’t bring up your concerns until now?”

By being direct and careful, you can help push the Backstabber species in your workplace to extinction as quickly as possible.

Seduce through your eyes!!

Seduction is not just a mind game, your eyes play as important a role. We help you perfect your moves...

All that talk about first impression and lasting ones... well, that’s not all jazz you know. Whoever said it sure knew what they meant. And guess what, if you want to seduce someone, you’ve got to do more than just dress and speak the role, you have a secret yet powerful tool at easy disposal, your eyes. Making the right eye contact and giving the right signals via your eyes to the person you are interested in means about 50 per cent of your work done. The truth is that most of the communication that occurs between two people who are interested in each other is wordless, it’s all about the looks.

Even the experts will vouch for this. In fact, communication and body language counsellors opine that the basic components of eye behaviour are easy to master once a person knows how they work. So, if you want to ensure that you always use your eyes fluently and with dazzling effect, here are four simple steps you need to follow.

Establish : The first thing you need to do when you meet is to look into the eyes of the other person. A confident look will create a positive first impression. Establishing eye contact is a specially handy tool when you’re trying to gain the attention of an unknown hottie or cutie. In this case, don’t keep staring at him/her, it may feel like you’re stalking them. Instead, make short frequent glances. If the opposite person reciprocates your move and holds your gaze, it a silent signal that you have the ‘permission’ to go ahead and initiate a conversation. Start of with introducing yourself.

Maintain : Now that you’ve started a conversation, it’s time for step two. Yes, we agree you can’t keep looking into each others eyes forever, but try to maintain eye contact for as long as it’s possible. Studies say the average gaze time for an average listener is a minuscule three seconds. But you need to go a tad further, try to hold your partner’s gaze for at least five to seven seconds. This will make it look like you’re paying attention and care about what the other person is saying. How does this work? It’s a two-way effect. While is makes the person opposite feel important, it will make you more ‘attractive’ in their eyes. Mission accomplished!

Maximise : You know your mission and you know that it’s your eyes that are going to be in focus. Hence, it’s most important that you pay attention to how your eyes look. Ladies, don’t hesitate to do them up to best effect, there are tons of products available in the market to help you. And it is a know fact that kajal gives the eyes a certain depth while clearly defining one’s eyes.

Widen : There’s something about large eyes that catches the attention of the person opposite. And ladies, though it may be a tad exaggerated in movies, fluttering your eyelashes does have that devastating effect on the opposite sex. There’s also a technique that will help you make your eyes appear larger; raise your brows and slightly lower your eye lids. If reports are to be believed, Marilyn Monroe herself often used this highly successful technique.

There you have it, now that you’ve mastered the formula, it’s time for you to try it out.

Sure shot ways to burn fat, fast !

It takes great determination to lose weight. The fat has just been adding up for months or years, as the case may be. However, don’t kill yourself with a mean crash diet to get into a bikini, simply follow our expert-backed tips to fall into shape. 

‘How to get started’ is a major cause of concern. Whether it is sweating it out at the gym or going for long jogs, it is a tough call for most fitness novices. At such a juncture it is imperative to understand your body and its fitness requirement. And accordingly zero in on a work-out routine. We take a look at five fast fat burning moves... 

Cardio exercises 

Cardios are the best form of exercise for beginners. There is no refuting the fact that to blast calories you need to break a sweat. A lean body can never be yours without sweating out the excess flab. And cardio exercises help you achieve just that; they boost your stamina, make you energetic and flexible to take up an even rigorous fitness regime. Running on the treadmill, cross-trainer, cycling, swimming and skipping are the most popular forms of cardio. While a treadmill exercises the whole body, cross-trainers are for the hips and thighs. You can even go for the cycling option at a gym; there are two kinds of cycles, one for thighs and the other for thighs and stomach. 

Diet 

Once you have set up a routine, gradually cut down on fish, red meat, fries, butter, cheese and junk food of every kind. Take a good dose of water depending on your body requirement. Coconut water and fresh fruit juices too can be taken post meals. 

Spinning 

One might complain of lack of variety in a spinning class, as the exercise routine can get a tad monotonous. However, spinning is a wonderful way to burn calories and keeps your muscles toned. Agreed, cycling in the open is a far viable option as it lets you enjoy the local sights and take in fresh air, but rainy season and foggy winters can put a dampener on your fitness schedule. Request your trainer to come up with varied routines to keep up the interest. At a spinning studio, with the help of background music and varied lighting, a soothing and happy atmosphere is recreated. Not to mention, spinning works best when alternated with cardio exercises. It helps lose fat and build muscles. You can do 30-45 minutes of non-stop spinning once in eight days, if you are combining it with cardio. 

Diet 

Food intake should be half of your normal diet. You can consume small portions of all kinds of food you like, but say no to fries, butter and cheese. 

Trapeze workout 

The form of workout is named after the lesser-known trapeze muscle which all of us have, but isn’t very prominent. Trapeze muscles are connected at either ends to the collar bone and hence move parts of the skeleton. Little wonder, fitness addicts and body builders sport such a neat shoulder and neck line. To chisel out your trapeze muscles, the ‘Dumbbell shrugs’ and ‘Barbell shrugs’ are most effective. The former flexes your side form, while the latter is for the front form. It is to be noted that trapeze exercises are not for beginners, as it requires an already lean body. A few months of rigorous cardio and spinning can have you ready for trapeze. Outside of building swoon-worthy muscles, it helps keep sinus and cervical disorders at bay. A healthy trapeze routine requires each body part be exercised twice a week. 

Diet 

A wholesome diet, but avoid greasy and junk food at any cost. Drink plenty of water, fresh fruit juices and coconut water. 

Aerobics and resistance training 

Such an exercise routine is best practiced at a fitness club under the guidance of expert trainers who understand your fitness level better. Resistance and flexibility exercises help increase stamina, and if rigorously followed, bring you in shape. Resistance is a set of weight lifting exercises, while flexibility is for the lower body. With music in the backdrop, aerobic exercises are a fun way to burn extra fat and get fitter. It facilitates a great deal of interaction with your fellow practitioners and one could also pick up some interesting routines together. To achieve best results, do resistance workout at least thrice a week. Warm up with a set of cardio exercises such as jumping and skipping to build stamina. You burn more calories by alternating aerobics with resistance and flexibility exercises. 

Diet 

Avoid food with high carbohydrate content such as potato, banana etc. If you like eating rice, take a small portion in the afternoon. Simply keep away from all kinds of fried stuff. 

Pilates 

Pilates is also a kind of aerobic exercise which entails a whole set of routines on the floor - on a mat. Group classes are conducted at a fitness club, where the trainer shows new routines on a regular basis, depending on the ability of the students. After a basic two-day training, the body status of the student is decided and a goal is fixed for the week. Pilates exercises the whole body and burns calories. There are as many as one hundred routines for the abs only. While you are free to buy tapes and practice Pilates in your living room, the knowledge of a live trainer and his ability to access your body strength cannot be negated either. Ideally, about four kilograms a month is the healthiest way to shed weight. 

Diet 

A wholesome diet, but avoid greasy and junk food at any cost. Drink plenty of water, juices and coconut water. Not to mention, carbohydrate-rich food should be taken only occasionally. 

Did you know, to lose a kilo you need to burn 7700 calories! Time you slipped into your track pants and broke some sweat. 

(With valuable inputs from Ivan Sabana, fitness expert, The Resort, Mumbai, and Tarun Sahu, asst. fitness manager, Celebrity Fitness Club, Gurgaon)

10 Habits of happy couples

What does it take to be happy in a relationship? If you’re working to improve your marriage, here are a few habits of happy couples.

1. Go to bed at the same time

Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn’t wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps.


2. Cultivate common interests

After the passion settles down, it’s common to realise that you have few interests in common. But don’t minimise the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.


3. Walk hand in hand or side by side

Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it’s more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.


4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode

If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.


5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong

If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.


6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work

Our skin has a memory of “good touch” (loved), “bad touch” (abused) and “no touch” (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.


7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning

This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.


8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel

This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.


9. Do a “weather” check during the day

Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.


10. Be proud to be seen with your partner

Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact - hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.

Happy couples have different habits than unhappy couples. A habit is a discrete behaviour that you do automatically and that takes little effort to maintain. It takes 21 days of daily repetition of a new a behaviour to become a habit. So select one of the behaviours in the list above to do for 21 days and voila, it will become a habit...and make you happier as a couple. And if you fall off the wagon, don’t despair, just apologize to your partner, ask their forgiveness and recommit yourself to getting back in the habit.


If there was one key to happiness in love and life, and possibly even success, it would be to go into each conversation you have with this commandment to yourself front and foremost in your mind, "Just Listen."



from the indiatimes network

Women men love to hate

Men love women, while women continue finding endless reason to loathe a man. Reasons like a man’s high sex drive, abusive lingo, his dominating behaviour or chauvinist traits are often looked down upon by the fairer sex.

 

But what if men also start putting women in certain stereotypes and chose their mate based on these guidelines. Sounds interesting! Be it a woman's jealous behaviour, her over-the-top attitude or her gregariousness– these traits can also irk a male partner. It's a fact that men consider these attributes while choosing a potential mate.

Here are the most typical female typecasts as defined by men.

Jealous / over possessive all the time : If you thought that the best way to hold on to your man is to be over possessive and go green with envy every time he hangs around with other girls, it’s time for a reality check! Boys like to be a one-woman man, but they won’t really appreciate your jealous behaviour if it's a recurrent behavioural trait.

Here’s why : Dr. Shivani Gupte, a clinical psychologist reasons, “Jealously comes when you are over possessive about a person and in case of men, they need their space in a relationship. But if you behave like a watchdog or keep a tab on every girl around them, it is irking. Not only will such behaviour act as a turn off, but it will also show how insecure you are about your guy.”

Attitude problems : It's good to carry a distinct attitude, but if you inadvertently show too much of it in front of your man, things may turn sour. Girls often like to be known for their pompous touch-me-not attitude, but showing it all the time can make you look like an arrogant and egotistical lady, and men don’t really find that alluring.

Here’s why : Dr. Karunesh Sharma, a marriage counsellor says, “A man can stand all kinds of tantrums you throw, but when it comes to attitude problems, it’s his self-respect and ego that come to the fore, so do not expect any compromises here. Even if you’re too supercilious, it’s advised to keep aside your attitude and respect the man you’re with.”

Material Gal : ‘She wants your money’ – you’d have heard the phrase many a times and might have believed it too that most girls get into a relationship depending upon their guy’s bank balance. But men seem to have become smarter nowadays. Most guys don't believe in taking their girl out for a luxurious date, buying her expensive clothes and opulent gifts. The moment a guy realises that his girl is more interested in his money and not him; it will put him off.

Here’s why : Dr. Amita Mishra, a relationship expert opines, “Men are perceived to be the providers, but this develops at a later stage when he's married and has a family to look after. But if you think that they will fulfill all your monetary demands, paying your shopping and restaurant bills, you are mistaken. Being overtly materialistic, often dilutes the actual meaning of being in a relationships. So men are less likely to get attracted to a girl who gives too much priority to money.”

Drama queen : If you create too much drama whenever you seek attention from your man, you are in for a lot of trouble. Men are not keen to be seen with a crybaby or someone who creates a big fuss out of every small issue.

Here’s why : Dr. Shivani adds, “Behaving a tad too loud in a relationship often points out to the fact that you're seeking attention and wanting to be the topic of discussion. Reacting to situations in a dramatic way can't get the purpose solved every time because you need to portray yourself as a strong and independent woman and not an emotional dependent with teary tales.”

Too progressive : Agreed that it’s a modern world and no girl wants to be seen in an old fashioned salwar kameez or sari. But does your guy love your modernistic approach? Well, maybe not! At least when it comes to meeting his family, guys expect to have a homely woman who blends modern and traditional values.

Here’s why : Dr. Sharma asserts, “Being overtly modern can backfire sometimes, as it’s often believed that when it comes to choosing a mate, men often look up to their moms, seeking similar attributes in their wives. Though it’s not bad to be modern, but it’s equally important to maintain your moral values and be in sync with the Indian culture, which men surely appreciate.”

From the Times of India, 18th Feb'10

Proposal Panga's

Valentine's knocking on the door making some more than happy and some more than nervous, here are some moral boosters for the latter kind.

What if she slaps me?

Most negative outcomes occur only in our minds, not in the real world. A woman won’t be mean to you unless you act like a jerk. Even if she turns you down, she’ll love being approached.

Gyaan: To excel in life, you have to push through your fears. Those who do, become champions.

She’ll think it’s too soon...

Real men don’t wait for the woman’s approval. He leads and she follows. She prefers it, but will never tell you. Any time you feel is a good time to ask her out.

Gyaan: It’s better to move fast and apologise, than move too slow and be put in the friend zone forever.

She’s always with friends...

Approach her group and involve everyone in conversation. It’s a huge turn-on for a woman to see a man hold court among her friends. Get her number so that you can exchange information about something she said during the conversation.

Gyaan: The harder the situation, the more she’ll appreciate your effort.

I freeze when I see her

You freeze because you care, and you care because you view her as the prize. Imagine ‘you’re the prize that she is pursuing. Tease her playfully. Each time you meet her, accuse her of stalking you.

Gyaan: Accusing a woman of treating you like a sex object leads to fun flirtations and never-ending conversations.

We’re too friendly to get romantic

She needs to see you as a sexual being. Step up your sexual communication. If she touches you accidentally, say with a cocky smile, ‘You’re touching me a lot lately.’ Or say, ‘Oh my God, you smell great. What are you wearing?’

Gyaan: Don’t abruptly get into boyfriend mode and send her flowers. That’ll make things awkward.

What do i say?

Whether it’s the first date or the first kiss, if it’s a big deal for you, it’ll be a big deal for her as well. Never ask a woman out straight on, instead tell her you’re going and she can join you.

Gyaan: Women prefer a man who is already having fun, so that they can join in too. It makes them feel as if they are already a part of his plans.

What if she tells her friends?

Well, then all the girls will know that you’re a sexual being and all the guys will wish they had your guts. Celebrate it, man!

Gyaan: When we see a man approach a woman, even if he’s rejected, we secretly admire his courage.

Maybe she’s taken...

Maybe she’s in a serious relationship; maybe she has a boyfriend... If you don’t approach and learn later that she was single, you’ll be kicking yourself, won’t you? So it is better to deal with this head on... There’s no other way in a relationship, buddy.

Gyaan: The pain of regret is worse than that of rejection. If she says no, at least you’d have tried... Else you’ll be kicking yourself for life.

Maybe I’m not her type

Men often assume ‘she’ is beyond their league. Here’s a secret: There is one type of man women are attracted to — the alpha male. A dominant, well-groomed, funny guy who is the social centre of the room.

Gyaan: With practice, any man (regardless of age, looks or bank balance) can learn to be the alpha male.

The basics will do

Only a few men approach women. Just having the guts to do so does the trick. Don’t approach her with the objective of making her like you. Do it with the objective of making her have a better time than before.

Can't do without you, Men!

They love to love us. But they love to hate us more. They can do without us. But they can’t do without us even more. We drive them up the wall. But we send lovely shivers down their spine. We make the walls seem like better companions. But we act as their walls against all the world’s troubles. That’s the man for women. So simple, and yet the biggest complication in every woman’s life. Every lady worth her salt, would, at least once in her life, have wished for a world without men. But, on hindsight, they beg to differ.  

There are several reasons every woman lists for wanting ‘life’s biggest catastrophe (a.k.a a man) in her life. The women might be child-bearing machines, like Hitler once famously suggested, but without men, won't the machines just gather dust? But, not anymore! Scientists have recently used embryonic stem cells to make synthetic sperm and suggest that at some vague point, women will be able to breed without men. “Well, that does seem like a good option,” muses an undecided Avantika Raj, management consultant, “But, what’s life without a little (or a lot of) action? But jokes apart, men are an extremely evolved race. And at the risk of sounding anti-feminist, I shudder to think of a world ruled by only women leaders. It would be cat-fight chaos!”

 

Agreeing with her is star-wife Vandana Srikanth. She says, “Life would be the opposite of bliss without men. A girl must always have a man in her life — be it her father, husband, son, friend or brother. However much we may argue, we need men to protect us against the odds we face.”

But, it’s not only for the protection that women need the Y chromosome. “The element of XY is required to maintain the balance. Men are like museum specimens — you can learn a lot from them, and even more from their mistakes!” chuckles Dr Priya Selvaraj, “You learn that you need not be intelligent to be strong! And as much as I believe in the power of the woman, I love men, for functioning without them, would be like working without an arm and a leg.”

 

Next up, whoever said girls’ nights out were all about the girls? If anything, it is anything but about them. Whether it is discussing her boyfriend’s annoying toilet habits or her neighbour’s cuter-than-thou dimple, ‘man’ is the keyword. Model Sneha Shekar agrees, “As much as we hate admitting it, even on a girls’ night out, we end up discussing men. On a night out with my chicas, we do tend to ogle and discuss in detail, the entity that is the man. That’s the prerequisite of any ladies’ night. And after all the woe-pouring, at the end of the night, we come to the conclusion that we cannot do without ’em.” Actress Vega, who just recently flew down from the US, found that men were the perfect pastime too! “I, along with my friend, scanned the entire flight for good-looking men, to keep us occupied throughout the long journey,” she chirps.

However, it is musician, Bushra Husain who sums it up best. She says, “In a world without men, I believe that music would be nonsense. A concert would become like a science lecture and lyrics would become like numbers. Romantic songs and duets would become obsolete. What would we sing about? Changing diapers, maid servant angst and shopping? Men are the music in women’s lives. And together, they rock the world.”

from the indiatimes network.

Tips for being simply irresistible

The following tips work for anyone, single or married, male or female, who would like to increase his or her overall attractiveness and become simply irresistible.

1 Let the world come to you

Mary had a crush on a particular fellow. Her heart just pitter-pattered every time she saw him. In an attempt to win his heart, she invited him to dinner one Friday night. Mary started planning a five-course menu – apricot brandy liver pâté, vichyssoise, chicken sautéed with shallots, cream and white wine sauce served on a bed of rice with asparagus, followed by a green salad and then dessert of homemade heart-shaped shortbread cookies and lemon sorbet. She took the day off from work to cook. When he arrived with a bottle of wine, Mary made the mistake of telling him that she had taken the day off from work to prepare. This put undue pressure on the situation. They couldn’t eat a fraction of the food. After dinner, they kissed a bit, but then he decided to leave. They saw each other, perhaps two additional times, but Mary was the one trying to get close. He really wasn’t at all interested. At the time, Mary was heartbroken.

Now Mary sees that she was throwing herself at him – how unattractive! She could have cooked something simpler and not needed to take the day off from work either. She was trying too hard to get him to like her and that ruined any chance of having a relationship. When you are attractive, people come naturally to you and effortlessly. You don’t have to seduce them or get them to like you or win them over. It takes work to seduce someone, attraction is natural and effortless.


2 Make your home a sanctuary

Your environment has tremendous impact on your psyche. In fact, it has been said that your environment is a reflection of your mental state. Take a look around you. Do you feel special, surrounded by things that you thoroughly enjoy? The idea is to love every single painting or piece of artwork that you have displayed. For objects that are too good to throw out, put them in cardboard box in your closet or better yet, give them to friends or charity. The objective is to make your home not only clean and organized, but also a reflection of who you are. The first place is to start your bedroom. Make it your haven, a place to retreat and relax. If you have a TV, move it out and you’ll sleep better. Set up your home so that it gives you energy. Take the time to make your home a sanctuary and it will restore and refresh you every day.

3 Keep a gratitude list

One way to attract more of what you want in life is to be grateful for what you already have, even if it is not enough. It would be a good idea to write down everything you are grateful for – your health, or a beautiful sunrise, or a hot cup of coffee. So what is the attraction principle here? What you focus on expands. If you focus on what you don’t have, you will attract even less. If you focus on what you do have, you will attract even more. If you are too needy or desperate, you will end up repelling the very thing you want to attract.

4 Smile, be happy!

There is something so attractive about a smile. If you want to be irresistible, smile. It takes more energy to frown and be grumpy than it does to be happy. Make a list of all those things that make you happy and start doing them immediately. For example, someone takes a bubble bath complete with candles, a glass of white win and good book. This helped her relax and unwind after a stressful day at work. Someone else decided to bike to work instead rive and found this was a simple way to build in daily exercise and made him feel great at the start of every day. However, if you are not in the habit of smiling, fake it a bit. Smile at least fifty people and may it a practice. A scientific study has proved that when you smile, the muscle movement releases endorphins in your body and you actually feel better.

5 Listen like you’ve never listened before

Most people like to think they are good listeners. Very few people actually are. Listening is an art and like any skill, takes practice. We were taught to speak, but never to listen. Listening is very attractive. As a general rule, the ideal guideline would be to talk 20 per cent of the time and listen 80 per cent of the time. Try this today and see what happens.

6 Acknowledge people profoundly

one simple and highly effective way to become irresistible is to convert your compliments into acknowledgments. People get compliments fairly often: “Oh what a wonderful sweater!” Or, “You sure look handsome today!” Don’t get me wrong, compliments are great but acknowledgements are even better. An acknowledgment is about who the person is, while a compliment is usually about what the person has or does. For example, “Robert I really appreciate the support you’ve shown coming all the way from New Jersey to attend this workshop. Your presence lights up this workshop. Now that’s an acknowledgment; it is very personal and leaves Robert feeling great about himself. People will want to be around you if you are in the habit of giving acknowledgments. Just change this one little thing and you’ll immediately be more attractive.

7 Be sensuous

You have to slow down to become sensuous. Being sensual is not about sex, but about relishing your senses of sight, sound, taste, touch and smell. Savour life and all it’s flavours and textures, its colours and shapes. We are physical beings in a physical world designed to be enjoyed and appreciated. In the rush of life, it is easy to neglect the purely sensual side of our nature. To get back into the groove, after a bath or shower, rub scented body oil all over. Do this slowly massaging and enjoying the curves and lines of your body, the silky feel of your own skin and the oil. Drink champagne to toast the sunset, wear clothes that are irresistible to touch – soft cashmere, silk and angora and listen to music that you love. Go all out – remember you are a sensuous being.

8 Be an angel

Newsweek reported in a cover story that more than 60 percent of the population believes in angels. If you were an angel, what would you do for the people in your life? What secret favour could you do without them getting to know about it? Once you start doing angel acts, you will radiate and glow from the inside out. However, have your need met first, or else you will never you’ll never be ready to give freely and easily. When you have your need fully met you can afford to give without needing anything in return. Here are some examples of angel acts: drop cash off in an unmarked envelope for a friend or relative who is having a tough time financially. Send an anonymous donation to charity of your choice. Do a good deed or random acts of kindness.

9 Develop your courage

One of the best ways of tackling fear is to start taking more risks in life. Why should you do something like this? Because taking a risk, doing something that might even scare you, will make you feel fully alive and vibrating. Consider these exercises to strengthen your risk muscle.

- Ask your boss for a raise. Most people are underpaid for what they do, so ask!

- Call someone up you’ve been meaning to call and, for, whatever reason, haven’t.

- Ask someone to meet one of your needs.

- Apologise to somebody for something you did that hurt.

- Return something that you stole or ‘borrowed’ with the appropriate apologies.

- Volunteer to give a presentation or speech.

- Take a trip by yourself.

- Take the opposing side of an argument. Stand up for what you think.

- Go to dinner by yourself to a nice restaurant.

- Take a class in scuba diving.


What is the relation to being irresistible? People who never take risks are rather dry and stale. They maybe stuck in a comfortable groove that even they find boring by this time. A risk or two will freshen you up and shake loose any cobwebs that might have been gathering around you. Keep challenging yourself to do something new and scary and you’ll attract wonderful opportunities.


from the indiatimes network.

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न कोई संग है न सहेली...

सोच रही हु...जिन्दगी भी एक अजीब पहेली...
कभी लगती है खुशियों से भरी..
कभी लगती है गमों की हवेली...

सोच रही हु.....काश मेरी भी हो तमन्ना पुरी...
बरसों से जो है अधूरी....
पर क्या करे किस्मत भी है हठेली....

सोच रही हु..... क्या यही है मंज़िल मेरी....
जोश की शम्मा तो अभी भी है जली....
पर उस पर जमी है वक्त की चादर बर्फीली....

सोच रही हु..... क्या मेरा भी समय आएगा....
क्या मेरा भी जहाँ जगमगायेगा....
पर कैसे सुलाझाऊ इस जीवन की पहेली....

j'z

Gham

..Khuda se thoda raham khareed lete,

Aap ke zakhmo ka marham khareed lete.

Agar kahi bikti khushiya meri,

To saari bech kar aap ka har ghum khareed lete...

Kaash . . .

Kaash hame bhi koi samjhane vaali hoti,
To aaj hum nasamajh naa hote...
Kaash koi pyaar ki pyali pilane waali hoti,
To aaj hum sharaabi naa hote...
Kaash koi hum par jaan fida karne waali hoti,
To aaj hum kaatil naa hote...
Kaash koi hamare saath ghar basanewali hoti,
To aaj hum beghar naa hote...
Shaayad accha hi hua ke koi bhi nahi hai,
Nahi to aaj hum shaayar naa hote...!!

Waqt

Har khushi hai logo ke Daaman me, Par ek hansi ke liye waqt nahi.
Din raat daudti duniya me, Jindagi ke liye he waqt nahi.
Maa ki lori ka ehesaas to hai, par maa ko maa kehne ka waqt nahi.
Sare rishton ko to hum maar chuke, ab unhe dafnane ka bhi waqt nahi.
Sare naam mobile me hain, par dosti ke liye waqt nahi.
Gairon ki kya baat kahen, jab apano ke liye hee waqt nahi.
Ankhon me hai neend badee, par sone ko waqt nahi.
Dil hai gamo se bharaa hua, par rone ko bhi waqt nahee.
Paison ki daud me aise daude, ki thakane ko bhi waqt nahi.
Paraye ehesaso ki kya kadar karen, jab apane sapano ke liye hi waqt nahi.

Tu hi bata E Zindagi, is Zindagi ka kya hoga.
Ki har pal mar ne walon ko, jeene ke liye bhi waqt nahi
Ki har pal mar ne walon ko, Jeene ke liye bhi waqt nahi.

... Talaash ...

Rehne De Aasman..Zamin Ki Talash Kar.

Sab Kuch Yahin Hai..Na Kahin Aur Talash kar,

Har Aarzoo Puri Ho To Jine Ka Kya Maza,

Jine Ke Liye Bas Ek Wajah Ki Talash Kar....

Khush raho na yaar . . .

Zindagi hai choti , har pal mein khush raho…

Office me khush reho, ghar mein khush raho..

Aaj paneer nahi hai, dal mein hi khush raho,

Aaj Dosto ka sath nahi, TV dekh ke hi khush raho...

Ghar ja nahi sakte to phone kar ke hi khush raho…

Aaj koi naraaz hai, uske iss andaz mein bhi khush raho...

Jisse dekh nahi sakte uski awaz mein hi khush raho…

Jisse paa nahi sakte uske yaad mein he khush raho

S/W company ka socha tha, Lecturership mein he khush raho…

Laptop na mila to kya, Desktop mein hi khush raho..

bita hua kal ja chuka hai, usse meeti yaadein hai,unme he khush raho...

aane wale pal ka pata nahi..sapno mein he khush raho...

Haste haste ye pal bitaenge, aaj mein he khush raho

Zindagi hai choti , har pal mein khush raho . . .

Bass . . . Khush raho na yaar . . .

~

'Zindagi'

... hoke majboor mujhe ...

Hoke majboor mujhe usne bhulaayaa hogaa

hoke majboor mujhe Usne bhulaayaa hogaa

Zahar chupke se davaa, jaanke khaayaa hogaa

Hoke majboor mujhe usne bhulaayaa hogaa

hoke majboor mujhe . . .
Dil ne aise bhi kuchh afsaane sunaaye honge -2

Ashq aaNkhoN ne piye aur na bahaaye honge

Band kamre mein jo khat mere jalaaye honge

Ek ek harf jabin par ubhar aayaa hogaa

Hoke majboor mujhe usne bhulaayaa hogaa

Hoke majboor mujhe
Usne ghabraake nazar laakh bachaayee hogi -2

Dil ki luTti huyee duniyaa nazar aayee hogi

Mez se jab meri tasveer haTaayee hogi -2

Haay..(har taraf mujhko) -2

TaDaptaa huaa paayaa hogaa

Hoke majboor mujhe usne bhulaayaa hogaa

Hoke majboor mujhe
ChheD ki baat pe armaaN machal aaye honge -2

Gham dikhaave ki haNsi mein ubal aaye honge

Naam par mere jab aaNsoo nikal aaye honge -2

(sar na kaaNdhe se) -2

Saheli ke uThaayaa hogaa

Hoke majboor mujhe usne bhulaayaa hogaa

Hoke majboor mujhe
Zulf zid karke kisi ne jo banaayee hogi -2

Aur bhi Gham ki ghaTaa mukhDe pe chhaayee hogi

Bijli nazroN ne kai din na giraayee hogi

Rang chehre pe kai roz na aayaa hogaa

Hoke majboor mujhe usne bhulaayaa hogaa

Zahar chupke se davaa jaanke khaayaa hogaa

Hoke majboor mujhe . . .

~

:~ superhit by 'Kaifi Azmi'-'Haqeekat'

... and miles to go before i sleep ...

Whose woods these are I think I know.

His house is in the village, though;

He will not see me stopping here

To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer

To stop without a farmhouse near

Between the woods and frozen lake The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake

To ask if there's some mistake.

The only other sound's the sweep Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep . . .

~ the masterpiece by Robert Frost

Jeena Marna

Shaher ki is daud me daud ke karna kya hai?

Jab yehi jeena hai dosto to phir marna kya hai?

Pehli baarish me train late hone ki fikar hai

Bhool gaye bheegte hue tahelna kya hai?

Serials ke kirdaaro ka saara haal hai malum

par maa ka haal puchhne ki fursat kise hai?

Ab ret pe nange paon tahelte kyu nahi?

108 hai channel phir dil bahelte kyu nahi?
Mobile, Landline sab ki bharmaar hai,

Lekin jigri dost tak pahunche aise taar kahan hai?

Kab dubte hue suraj ko dekha tha yaad hai?

To Dosto Shaher ki is daud me daud ke karna kya hai

Jab yahi jeena hai to phir Marna kya hai?
Internet ki duniya ke to touch me hai,

lekin pados me kon raheta hai jaante tak nahi.

To Dosto Shaher ki is daud me daud ke karna kya hai
Jab yahi jeena hai to phir Marna kya hai?

~

:- taken from 'Lage Raho Munnabhai'